Twelfth Night: Feste – Act II (Acts 3-5)

Act III Scene 3 Enter USL – Sing Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked…dost thou live by thy music? No, sir, I live by the church.
Art thou a churchman? No such matter sir. I do live by the church, for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.
I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing. Not so, sir. I do care for something; but in my conscience, sir, I do not care for you; If that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
Art not thou lady olivia’s fool? No, indeed, sir. Lady Olivia has no folly. She will keep no fool, sir, till she be married, and fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings; the husband’s the bigger. I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words. And words are very rascals since bonds disgraced them.
Thy reason, man? Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words are grown so false I am loath to prove reason with them.
I saw thee late at Orsino’s garden. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun; it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress. I think I saw your wisdom there.
Nay, an thou pass upon me…Hold, there’s sixpence for thee. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
By my troth, I’ll tell thee…Is Olivia within? Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
Yes, being kept together and put to use. I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
I understand you, sir. ’tis well begged. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to them whence you come. Who you are and what you would are out of my welkin; I might say element, but the word is over-worn.leave through center off stage left (leave how you entered)
Act 4 Scene 1 Enter DSRenter sebastian and feste Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
Go to, go to, … let me be clear of thee. Well held out, ‘i faith! No, i do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose either. Nothing that is so is so.
I prithee foolish greek…I shall give worse payment. By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report.
Hold sir or I’ll throw you o’er the house. This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats for two pence. Exit up center and to stage left
Act 4 Scene 2 Enter Upstage RightNay, I prithee, put on this gown and this cap…I’ll call good Toby the whilst. Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in’t, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.
LOOK AT THIS ONE!Jove bless thee, master Pedant. Bonos dies, good Toby: for, as the old hermit of prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc “That that is is”; so I, being Dr. Pedant, am Dr. Pedant; for, what is “that” but that, and “is” but is?LOUD MUSICWhat, ho, I say! Peace in this prison! (Repeat.)
Who calls there? Dr. Topas the pedant, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.
Sir Topas…go to my lady. Out, hyperbolical fiend! How vexest thou this man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
LOOK AT THIS!!Sir topas, never was man thus wronged…bound me here in hideous darkness. Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy.
I am not mad, Dr. Topas…this house is dark. Madman, thou errest.
I say this house…I am no more mad than you are. Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Fare thee well.go to mariah and toby SL
To him in thine own voice, and bring me word…come by and by to my chamber. Hey Robin, Jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does
Fool! Fool I say Who calls, ha? Master Malvolio?
Ay, good fool. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
Fool, there was never a man so notoriously…as thou art. But as well? Then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.
They have propertied me…and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Advise you what you say. The pedant is here.Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore. Endeavor thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.
LOOK AT THIS!!Sir topas! (As Topas – SR) Maintain no words with him, good fellow.(Feste) Who, I sir? Not I, sir. God be with you, good Dr. Topas.(As Topas) Mary, amen.(As Feste) I will, sir, I will.
LOOK AT THIS!!Fool, fool, fool, I say! Alas, sir be patient. What say you sir?
Good fool…as any man in Illyria. Well-a-day that you were, sir. Bur tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit?
Believe me, I am not. I tell thee true. Nay, I’ll ne’er believe a madman till I see his brains. I am reproved for speaking to you. Adieu goodman devil.
Fool, Fool I say!! nod to fabian follow behind them
Act 5 Scene 1 Enter Up Right, crossing through and circling right of the bench with FabianBelong you to the Lady Olivia, friends? Ay sir; We are some of her trappings.
I know thee well; how dost thou…it may awake my bounty further. Marry, sir, till I come again, sir.Exit CS Up Left
If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have … nothing by a bloody coxcomb.DSL – helping Toby because he’s wounded and taking him SR of BenchThat’s all one…didst see Dick Surgeon, sot? cross to oliviaO, he’s drunk, an hour agone; his eyes were set at eight ‘i the morning.
Get him to bed, and let his hurt be looked to. help Toby up, exit up center and off right.

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