Twelfth Night Act 1.3

Enter Toby & Maria What a plague means my niece to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care’s an enemy to life.
By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier of nights. My niece takes great exception to your ill hours. Why, let her except before excepted!
Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. Confine? I’ll confine myself finer than i am! These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be this boots to! And they be not, let them hang themselves by their own straps!
That quaffing and drinking will undo you…..brought in one night to be her wooer. Who? Sir Andrew Aguecheek?
Ay, he. He’s a tall a man as any Illyria.
What’s that to the purpose? Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.
Ay, but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats. He’s a very fool and a proddigal. Fie that you’ll say so! He plays the Vio-del-gameboys and speaks three or four languages word for word without book! And hath all the good gifts of nature.
He hath indeed, almost natural, for, besides….prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave. By this hand they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him!…..Who are they?
They that add, moreover, he’s drunk nightly in your company. With drinking healths to my niece, i’ll drink to her aslong as there’s a passage in my throat and a drink in Illyeria. He’s a coward and coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brain turns of the toe like a parish top!What wench? Mira a ves! For here comes Sir Andrew Aguecheek.
Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch? Sweet Sir Andrew!
A: Bless you fair shrew.M: And you too, sir. Accost, Sir Andrew, Accost.
A: What’s that? My niece’s chambermaid.
A: Good mistress accost, I desire better acquaintance.M: My name is Marry Sir.A: Good Mistress Mary Accost- You mistake night. “Accost” is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.
A:By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?M: Fare you well gentleman. And though let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never sword again.
A:An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw thy sword again. Fair lady. do you think you have full at hands?…………..M: Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers end. Marry, now i let go your hand, I am barren.Maria Exits O Kinight, thou lack’st a cup of canary. When have I seen thee so put down?
Never in your life, I think, Unless you’ve seen canary put me down. Methinks i have no more wit than an ordinary man has. But, I am a great eater of beef and i believe that does harm to my wit. No questions.
An I thought that, I’ll forswear it. I’ll ride home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Purqoui my dear knight?
What is “pourqoui” do or not do? I would I had bestowed the time in tongues that i have in fencing, dancing and bearbaiting. O, had I followed the arts! Why must though go knight?
Faith, I’ll ride home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen, or if she be, it’s four to one and she’ll none of me. The Duke himself here by woos her. She’ll none of the duke! She’ll not match above her degree neither in estate, years, nor wit! I have heard her swear it. Tut, there’s life in it, man.
I’ll stay a month longer. I am a fellow of the strangest mind in the world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether. Art thou good at these kick-shasis knights?
As any man in Illyria What is thy excellence in a galliard knight?
Faith, I can cut a caper. And I can cut the mutton to it!
And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria. Wherefor are these things hid? Wherefor have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust like mistress mall’s pictures? Why dost thou not go to church in galliard and come home in coranto. My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water bit in a sink-a-pace. What dost though mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent of thy consituition it was formed under the star of galliard!
Ay, tis strong, and it does indiffrent well in a dun-colored stock. She we set about some revels. What shell we do else? Were we not born under Tarus?
Taurus? That’s side and hearts? No sir its legs and thighs! Now let me see thee caper again. Ha ha! Higher! Haha! Higher! Excellent!

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