Barbecuing Hamlet – Margo Daley lines – act 2 scene 3

HOPE: I can’t believe it. We played Hamlet! And Hamlet lost.
BUDGIE: Did I SEE it, she asked. And I wasn’t a castle guard, I was the ghost of Hamlet’s father! We killed a ghost.
HAL: You’re not going to… No.
HAL: When you speak of this, and you will, be kind. What can I say. Uh… we just performed William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, a play in five acts… in just over forty-five minutes.
MARY BETH: I’m writing this in my diary! We started out all right, it looked like Hamlet. We began Act One… and somewhere, somehow we segued into Act Four. Then it got confusing. We managed to go BACK to Act Two, during which time I distinctly heard the words “Rolex watch” and “Oldsmobile” mentioned. Then, for no reason, we got into Act Five… it was like we were doing Hamlet in flashbacks.
TAMARA: Margo? You were saying? Just this. If you think this show was anything but –
HAL: Margo, I almost forgot to tell you. A call came in for you! What?
TAMARA:I won’t. Listen… What call are you talking about? I didn’t get any call. What are you LOOKING at?
HAL: Them. Them?
HAL: You’re right, there wasn’t any call. Then why did you –
HAL: Margo. Look at them. Listen to them. I know, I am so sorry.
HAL: That’s why I pulled you over. I wanted to stop you. Stop me?
HAL: What were you going to say to them? Oh, the truth had occurred to me?
HAL: What? Were you going to tell them the show was terrible? THEY were terrible? Were you going to point out every little mistake they made? I don’t have that many years left. And tonight aged me about ten years alone.
HAL: You can’t, Margo. You can’t tell them that. Are you going to stand there and TRY to tell me it was a good show?
HAL: No, I’m going to tell you it was a success. Tonight?! This… This…
HAL: Hamlet is supposed to be a tragedy. And it WAS! Hal.
HAL: Okay, listen a minute. You gave these people what they believe was a wonderful experience, an exciting event in their lives. Look at them! They are REVELING in it! Now, can you turn around and tell them it was all wrong, it was stupid? And THEY are stupid to have loved it so? But it… stunk.
HAL: Not to them. They accomplished something! They all had a grand time. But it… stunk.
HAL: They’ll be talking about tonight for years. It will be a hallmark in their history. It was a success. But it… stunk.
HAL: Look at it this way. They will build on what they did tonight. And they can only get better. But I’m the director, I’m the one responsible.
HAL: And they LOVE you for it. Besides, I bet this is just the way they did it at the Globe. Yes, but anybody who knows anything about Shakespeare who was here tonight, they saw MY name on the program.
HAL: Your name? That’s what you’re worried about? Wouldn’t you be?
HAL: Here I grabbed one for a souvenir. I don’t want it.
HAL: Read it, go on. “The Peaceful Glen Memorial Players proudly present Hamlet, directed by… Magro Dutton.
TAMARA: Margo, the call? Was it anything serious? Huh? Oh, no. No not at all.
MARY BETH: Please stay. Well…? Okay, I suppose.
TAMARA: And we want you to do the same glorious job you did tonight on our next production. Oh, I will try to do better than that!
THEODORA: Better than that! She is a perfectionist! Yep, we’ll sure give her a try. As sure as my name is Magro Dutton.
DUNCAN: We are, but we’re not going to shell out for the music. Wait. We’re doing Cats without the music?
August 3, 2019